The concepts of “victim” and “victor” have specific meanings and are dichotomies of each other.  Surprisingly, they are listed next to each other in the dictionary.  The word “victim” suggests that some negative action or mishap occurs to an innocent individual.  The sustained hardship occurs through no fault of the injured person.  A victim tends to be reactive to people and places around him.  Unlike the above, a “victor” is proactive.  They defeat their enemies and opponents.  They see themselves as a winner.

Frequently, patients come into therapy talking and seeing themselves as victims.  They recall people, places, and events, which help support their claim.  They may have come from a toxic home life, a destroyed marriage, or have a history of abuse.  Usually, a force bigger and stronger then themselves victimizes them.  The end result is much unresolved psychological pain.  While they do not want to be a victim, they do not know how to be a victor.

While the victim is in therapy, his task is to resolve psychological pain.  This can only be done by learning to forgive those whom he feels have harmed them.  The process of forgiving allows the victim to give up old resentments, anger, and hate.  He no longer feels powerless.  When he forgives his enemies, he soon gains a sense of empowerment.  He no longer is reactive but now is proactive.  The act of forgiving transforms the helpless victim to a strong victor.